Wow. I haven't really needed to post in a long time (which is a good thing). I think I skipped over my 2nd cancer, which was in 2017, and just moved forward but I recently had another diagnosis. This time a new cancer - lung - which has completely taken me for a loop. I had to point out to my oncologist that a lung nodule had been noted during an annual CT scan. At my check up I asked her if I should be concerned about it and she responded, "go get your kids married and then we'll check it." At the time I was not concerned at all. I get a lot of scans on a regular basis and I usually go in with the expectation that it'll amount to nothing. So - after Ben & Emma's weddings (which were five weeks apart) I had scheduled a followup. It was easy - in and out - I left thinking how awesome NYU was and how efficient they could be. The results of that scan were not so great. They showed that the nodule had grown and the radiologist said in all caps, "CONCERNING FOR ENLARGING ADENOCARCINOMA SPECTRUM LESION." Not what I wanted or expected to see. My oncologist wanted me to get a biopsy to make sure it was not metastatic but I just wanted it out. Now, having privately found out about another friend wo had something similar but whose nodule is unfortunately metastatic I get it. At any rate, I had the surgery 1/21/25 and it turned out that it was, in fact, an early lung cancer. The surgery itself has been harder to recover from than I'd expected and getting a 3rd diagnosis is still devastating. Also, and I'm disappointed to say this but I feel like NYU kind of dropped the ball on after care. I ended up with a chronic cough that was so bad I coudln't really speak. WhenI went for my followup at the surgeons, my friend, Toni asked the surgeon, "is this normal?". "No" he replied "she should go see a pulmonologist". Toni said, "you seriously aren't sending her to another Dr." I jumped in and offered to text my GP who happens to be a friend and whose husband was the former head of Vascular Surgery and worked across the hall from him. He agreed - and I got a cough syrup w/ codeine (yay for opiods!), a steroidal inhaler and albuterol nebulizer & inhaler. Finally. I also started on gabepentin which is supposed to help with what is nerve pain. It's now over three weeks after and I'm still incredibly hyper sensitive to touch in my middle area. It's very sore but I'm finally starting to workout and i lifted some light weights the other day. Guess I'm on the road to recovery but man, what a long, strange trip it's been.

5 years since diagnosis

so i got my “all clear” visit today.   i cannot believe it’s been 5 years.  i remember the entire year like yesterday and i am flooded with some of those memories but i like to think that the year is more like a distant memory and that i’ve got the advantage of looking in the rear view mirror always.  now and forever.  

the best thing i can post is this pic of me doing this mini mini tri.  i love it because in it i am strong, empowered and happy.  

5 years.  

get out of jail free

that’s what i call the days that i see a doc and everything checks out …..

saw my surgeon today and all is good…so good to hear that….especially as i approach the 5 year mark.  i’m almost 4 full years out since my last cancer fighting surgery (which is how i count it). the big question now is figuring out what to do….will only have 1 kid left at home next year which is kind of making me itchy to go back to work…..life has resumed it’s normal cadence and I’m becoming a bit bored….

on the other side

so yesterday i experienced what it was like to be “on the other side”. i took a good friend to her first chemo and i was struck by how great it was to be the caregiver this time. i drove, parked, sat and tried to take my friend’s mind off of what was being done and why. it was a bit surreal but i was happy to be able to help someone els and help guide them through the dark labyrinth of cancer treatment.

some people have asked me if it’s just too dark and scary to go back to the office. i have to say, i love the people in the office - i think they are incredibly compassionate and skilled at what they do. while i may not have liked (!!!) the reason for being in treatment, i always felt it was a nice thing in a very weird way. the time you get to spend with a friend is time you might not ever do but because you are forced to do it out of necessity, i’ve found my friends to be amazing in their gifts of time, love and just being there.

it certainly gave me a new insight into what my friends and family were going through at the time.

gotta go to parm

parm. to cap off what i think is the end of my clincial trial i treated myself to lunch in the city with my friend, michael. if you haven’t been, go. it’s a throwback modernized. styled like a diner, you order old fashioned italian specialties ….the eggplant parmigian roll is like no eggplant i’ve ever had in a diner or an italian deli, for that matter.

10 thin thin slices of crispy fried eggplant interspersed with fresh basil, fresh mozzarella and homemade tomato sauce on a semolina roll. did i catch your interest yet? when it arrives, you contemplate whether to pick the whole thing up or to cut it in half, in hopes that you’ll be able to leave the table without getting tomato sauce on some part of your clothing.

i elected to cut it and picked it up with relish. perfect blend of old and new, it was served with the 3 sides that we’d chosen….chick peas, brussel sprouts and spicy broccoli rabe. of those, the chick peas were the best i think. served with an almost soft boiled egg, there was bits of cooked and uncooked egg with the chick peas. the brussels were good but standard and the broccoli rabe was delicious but nothing out of the ordinary. michael had the chicken parm.

both sandwiches had us in states of eating euporia. i topped it off with a glass of rose.

we shared a salad - just the basic one which was just as you would think it would be. basic.

the ice cream cake at the end is a classic italian combo - strawberry, chocolate & pistachio ice creams or, rather, as they reinvented it, gelato are smooched between chocolate cookies crumbs with whip cream that isn’t real whip cream but tastes perfect with the ice cream.

we had that with good strong coffee…a perfect meal.

what we didn’t like at the end, was the price tag. somehow $90 for lunch for 2 for diner food wasn’t quite what we expected but trust me, it won’t stop me from going back.

want to have the eggplant and the chickpeas again!

italian eats...

started all my followups this week…started with a sonogram which was all good! all good!!! what a great thing to hear. clear, nothing. boring is good :)

to celebrate i met my friend, michael at marea for lunch at the bar. marea has one of the grooviest looking bars…its a translucent marble i think that is lit from underneath…very modern feeling. and the food….we started with the 3 crudos - fluke, tuna and snapper - all clean and small bites but nothing that amazing. esca’s crudo’s are all better….

michael ordered the lobster, burrata appetizer which, if i go again, i am so getting. it’s a decadent way to start your meal and is memorable!

then i had the signature pasta - fusilli with bone marrow and octopus braised in a red wine sauce. kind of a new, modern take on a bolognese. again, i wouldn’t get that again - while it was good and i’m glad i had it, i’d go for something else next time. just a little weird and rich for my palate. michael had the gnochetti with ruby red shrimp and beans. it was delicious!

the dessert is what blew us away..we had the crostata di cioccolata. amazing.the

best part about the meal though, was catching up with my old friend who jets in and out of the states and seems to have a knack for being around after doctor’s appointments.

last night, though, i went to the cookery in dobbs ferry. is you live in westchester, you must go. ….i thought the food there was BETTER than marea’s….it’s a little more homier- dark wood and kind of pubby looking. i think the winner last night was the dirty rice - duck liver sauteed into rice with a poached egg that was dipped in panko and fried on top. omg …wanted to lick the plate. hard to beat their fried scarmozo cheese which is one of my favorite dishes but i think the dirty rice wins.

we also had the baby arugula salad, the meatballs and their special pasta - ricotta, squash and pancetta…and the stripped bass….and their dessert - butta nutta pie (??) was like a creamier version of milk bar’s crack pie.

i have to say i love the way they divide wine - it’s by price point - you have your choice of a $9, $10, or $11 glass of wine. perfect!

don’t want to go on too much about it, as it’s still accessible to the common folk and you can still get a table during the week!

also, so much more affordable than marea.

3 feet under

i thought i’d escape irene’s wrath but it was too much for our little house to take. we ended up with 3 feet in the basement. trying to look at it as just another excuse to purge but it’s the 4th time this house has flooded and i’m kind of done. more tomorrow.'