sporting a port

so i'm posting the photos of my arm 2 days after getting an iv so i could get a port in. i am so angry that the surgeon or anesthesiologist allowed an idiot intern to do this. when he missed the vein initally, he said, "oh this is so embaressing" as he continued to dig for a vein. ironically, i got this procedure to save my one arm from getting all the veins blown by the 18 weeks of infusions. the whole procedure was kind of bizarre from the get go. met w/ the surgeon on monday. she was lovely, very nice and said that it was kind of a big nothing - that i'd feel sore but not a lot of pain or a big deal. i'm starting to really not trust any of the doctors when they say that.

she'd had a xlation for tuesday morning and when she offered it, i figured, "why not"? otherwise i'd spend the week kind of waiting for the procedure. i should have waited. it kind of ruined all the healthy, great exercise i was doing. i didn't really anticipate that i would feel like a car had hit my left side (side where she put the port in) or that i'd go home, pop 2 percosets, grab an ice pack and pass out for 4 hours. kind of a precursor to how i might feel on a bad post cheom day. so now my left side hurts more that my right side - the side where i had the lumpectomy and the lymph node dissection. really sucks.

for me, too, i think the port made the whole process feel like it was real and it was imminent. i've been able to avoid feeling like that but there's no denying that all this shit is going down and soon.