hair

just woke up and ran my hand through my hair and had hair come out on contact.

it's starting. this will be so hard and weird and i guess in the long run almost a relief that the waiting is over. i knew last week was kind of a fluke - i really felt almost lilke my old self minus the mane of hair but still with a cute kind of look. not sure i'm going to feel that way about no hair.

so hair...seems crazy to place so much of my identity in something i was born with. i've had long, crazy ringlets for the past 20 years. it was short right after college in those days when i used to go down to astor place and have the guy cut one side shorter than the others. kind of a strange cut on a curly-haired girl but i was in my "changing it up" mode. i cut it my senior year of college after my boyfriend dumped me. not sure why. anyway...i had hinted that i had a lot to say about hair and now that it's coming out. well. i better type fast.

my long hair has always conveyed an attitude of rasta - ness i think. people often assume i will act a certain way given my hair and it's always amused me the random boys / men it attracted in a bar situation. not always the cream of the crop, i might say, but that could have more to do with the setting than anything else.

cutting it a few weeks ago was ok. i felt good about giving it away and turning this mess into something positive. while it looked great straight, it looked like something between princess leila from star wars and macy gray curly. i ran back to brenda at hair and beyone who, for the record, has been amazing. (thanks brenda!!!) she cut into it and i'm not sure what i thought it would end up looking like but it looked better.

i liked my wig better than my hair short, to be honest but it's a look.

next up...angels of ny.